Resilience, A #MeToo Love Letter

Resilience, A #MeToo Love Letter

Resilience, A #MeToo Love Letter

A #MeToo Essay by Ramona Lee Pérez

Dear Survivor,

How are you are feeling? If you are anything like me, some days are better than others,

but it has been tough since #MeToo hashtagged its way into history. I have struggled my entire

life, but it intensified exponentially since the 2016 elections, chronic political anxiety

exacerbated by hate crimes, mass shootings, natural disasters, ICE raids, police violence, and an

infestation of wasps under my deck. The barrage of bad news reawakens traumas until I am

forced to declare a media blackout for sanity’s sake.

I hope that you are getting help and finding a sense of balance in your life. Supportive

practitioners and solid self-care can make all the difference. It has taken me decades to reach a

tentative equilibrium between PTSD, work, parenting, and never enough rest. I am grateful for

effective routines, therapy, and a housemate who does most of the cooking. They help me get

through most days in one piece. If not, there are pills in the medicine cabinet.

Still, every day is a struggle, una lucha, in which we fight intersecting oppressions -

sexism, racism, heterosexism, ableism, poverty - and the fallout from childhood abuse and/or

grown-up domestic violence and harassment. I often wake up anxious and am on red alert all

day. To leave the house, I don my customary oversized glasses, censor my wardrobe, and wave

hard-earned nerd credentials to avoid compliments, cat-calls, or worse. That usually works to

keep me on track, but sometimes a trip to the grocery store feels like a pilgrimage through the

seven levels of hell.

If you have been feeling anything like this, I offer you my heart because that is all that I

have to give. Know that I love you, so much that it hurts. It hurts to know that you are suffering

and that I cannot make it all instantaneously better. It hurts and I am so very tired of hurting. It

was past time to write this all out because I have been struggling for weeks to do anything else,

including sleep. I know that you get what I mean.

No matter what, remember this: You are enough. We are enough. Receive my

unadulterated admiration for your talent, heart, beauty, smarts, gumption, parenting, mentoring,

self-caring, all of your radically awesome warrior self. All of you. Todo. I am awestruck by your

pure cussedness, how you keep showing up even though on most days you, like me, are in pain

and just want to hide under the covers to cry. All we can do is face each day with as much

gumption as we can muster. I have faith that we will keep walking forward, together when we

can, parallel when separated by miles, always mirroring each other in fighting for justice.

You inspire me. I love you. Together we will create healing for us all.


Your Sister in Recovery



The Rebellion

The Rebellion