Survival of the Fittest

Survival of the Fittest

Survival of the Fittest

A Pride Month Poem by AJ Saur


“Cranberry is gay . . . salmon is emasculating.”

~ The Ultimate Man’s Survival Guide


Who knew color wielded such power? 

The ability to turn attractions, trim

virility with the touch of its hued hand. 

Perhaps only colors sharing a name with food 


command this sort of control—pomegranate, 

plum, persimmon pushing men around, 

basil and boysenberry bullying our boys. 

What hope do men have 


when their wives suggest painting 

the bedroom walls melted butter, 

the kitchen toasted almond? 

It’s surprising males can survive 


in such an environment 

and no small wonder to find them 

tunneling out caves in the basement, 

building bunkers in the pole barn. 


The poor men, though, have no idea 

what they’re up against—an unseen force

with an endless imagination toning and tinting 

the world apricot, sage, and cinnamon. 


Even if they were to shed their clothes, 

hide in a white-walled room, they can’t escape 

their chestnut hair, their olive skin. 

Truth be told, even an ultimate guide can’t guide 


men to safety; it can only awaken them 

to a war already lost. Better, it seems, 

to let them sleep, to dream their potent dreams 

beneath a warm caramel comforter.


Sideshow Starters

Sideshow Starters

Bywater, New Orleans

Bywater, New Orleans